Someone needs to create a better lotion container.

I have always found it particularly entertaining that Hill so vigorously defended Bill Clinton. I have never believed her story, and it still greatly irritates me that my college not only paid her to come to campus to speak, but sang her praises far and wide.

Interesting. I had never heard of an Rh.D. before.

“Trying to think of a situation in which I’d ask her advice.”
“Don’t hurt yourself.”

This is really really interesting.

There is an important distinction to be made between duck face and a smoochy face. And I have never in my life made a duck face.

I seriously read that name as Dementia.

Dammit! Whyyyy must Tommy Stinson play on a flipping Thursday night? sigh. Yet another show I won’t be attending.

And that is why I do not live on a flood plane.

We’re not really Star Wars people.

Man. I’m so glad I put Dropbox on my phone. Google just will not back up my Instagram photos for some reason.

Is there ever going to be another day in my life when I will not feel like I’m sleepwalking? Bone damn tired.

I’d like this stitch under my ribs to relax now please. I’d like to take a breath, thank you.

dammit dammit dammit. That is not the news any of us were hoping for.

I have no motivation whatsoever. For anything.

It’s not “bare with me.” No one wants to bare with you. Maybe your wife or husband or something. I don’t know. I certainly don’t want to bare with you.

Honestly. It’s just not that hard to set up a course correctly. It just isn’t. There are even step by step instructions available for you. Jesus.

Dammit. Why do parents have to be so dang rude when they call here? I cannot give you information about your student. I really don’t care if you pay the bills or not.

Wait. What? Crystal Pepsi is back? Why the hell would anyone bring Crystal Pepsi back??

Once again, I completely forgot that this is a Wednesday.

Whhhhhhhy do I have Alice in Chains stuck in my head? Ughhhhhhh.

I don’t belong in this show with these people.

Why must you always complicate these things unnecessarily?

doesn’t matter what they say

Oh no. I’m not answering that call. Not a chance.

I think Sarah Michelle Gellar is wearing all those weird shirt dresses lately because she’s pregnant again. (The rumor started here, folks.)

I guess I should have checked the clock …

What? I can’t. What??

This calls for shortbread.

And tea. You can’t have shortbread without tea.

I hate weaving in ends. I hate weaving in ends. I hate weaving in ends.

Oh my goodness. Stop trying to steal Reykjavik cats, Stephen West!

I can’t believe I spelled Reykjavik correctly on the first try. I’m awesome.

But I don’t need a holster.

WHY WON’T YOU SLEEP?

I suppose shortbread would be good with iced coffee as well.

We shall see.