one day, he will be mine. oh yes. he will be mine.

Pour some vinegar on it.

Speaking of which.

Kill. Me. Now. Please. I beg of you.

Learn to care less. Learn to care less. Learn to care less.

I need to move to Denmark.

I wholeheartedly support this concept. Stormageddon would be in heaven at a playground like this.

No human should be forced to endure this level of micromanagement. This is how bullies behave.

How do I not have any bat tattoos?

Here’s a tip: Stop adding “I’ll wait” to your questions, like some kind of smug self-righteous dick. Almost invariably you will not get the answer you wanted. And you’ll just look like some kind of smug self-righteous dick.

When you ask a question like that you’re not genuinely interested in the response. You’ve made up your mind about things. You could just ask the question out of real curiosity and an interest in learning more about what people actually do. But no. You’re just trying to show your moral superiority. Which almost always fails. How do you not learn from these mistakes?

They can’t all be the sexiest accents in America.

Well. This is a weird little bucket of nostalgia for you. Also the animated spray paint makes it hard to read and is annoying as shit. Actually, it’s not a very good read.

JAYsus. Of COURSE Beto O-Rourke is an Ian MacKaye ass kisser.

Well this is yet another “short post or wait another day?” week. Sheesh.

I somehow find Evan Dando a lot more attractive now than I did in the 90s.

and now this is stuck in my head

But what if you’re both lawful neutral and neutral good?

Man I got nothin’ for ya today.

Dead to Me is a good show, so check it out if you haven’t.

I will be working on this reading list all year.

All. Year.

How am I cold right now??

Think I’ll watch Justified again.

I should watch Deadwood again, get ready for the movie.

But is it like toe?

No, this will definitely be better if I wait. Maybe I should wait til next week. Yeah. Then it’ll be super long.

Actually, it will likely just be normal long by then because clearly I have a problem. Maybe I need a Random hiatus.

Must not weigh in. Must not weigh in. Must not weigh in.

inn

“Everything smelled like cigarettes and Drakkar Noir and then our parents got divorced again.” Dying.

Yeah, you’re not being “shutdown.” Facebook is glitchy as hell and always has been. Something is constantly not working properly. Settle down.

Calm down, ma’am.

This is a long and kind of amusing read and what you should take away from it is – live your life like you could die at any moment.

I think this will be very very helpful.

You can’t just start “terminating people.” First of all, you don’t even have the authority.

I am so gonna get bitched at for this.

I don’t really understand that.

Yeah, I’m not sure the ghost of Johnny Cash would be nodding in approval of your abortion stories.

I will gladly take all the babies. Just send them to me.

How do people still come here looking for that program? It’s been gone for years.

Maybe you should have some muscle handy.

Ah, but that was part of the genius of Twin Peaks – there is no ending.

Sometimes I wonder why people I used to know don’t look me up, but I’m afraid I don’t really want to know the answer.

Oh good. Annual review. Fucking hooray.

This is appalling and heartbreaking and awful.

Maybe it’s just because it’s so quiet around here lately.

Hard to care about the pile when

I’m just going to go ahead and tell you now that there won’t be a Random next week either. I’m on staycation.

The new National feels like it’s a “We had all these songs that we like but didn’t really fit on any other albums, so we just threw them together” album.

I KEEP FORGETTING

I’ll remedy the whole thing.