How many times do I have to say I give up before the Universe stops kicking my ass?

Wait. What?

I’m never going to make it through this staff meeting.

I would really love to know what this woman has been smoking.

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhy won’t Blurb talk to Instagram? WHY. I need to finish these bloody books.

It is just a 30th birthday party.

I keep attempting to type a sentence here, but every time I do, I get half way through and the thing is so fucking exhausting I stop. The world is exhausting me. Just shut the fuck up. The National Day of Prayer doesn’t “erase” or “stigmatize” you just because you don’t fucking pray. How about you just don’t fucking pray? How about you just let other people pray? How about you all just stop whining and fucking move on with your day? JEEESus fucking Christ.

Sometimes I think, well I’m not wishing that person a happy birthday, they didn’t wish me one. But then I just go ahead and do it anyway, because I’m clearly a better person than they are.

I had no idea that Scott Hutchison died by suicide last year. That just makes me so sad.

I’m not sure that the County Commissioner should be using her official office to send constant updates to the mailing list about her personal life. First of all, I don’t care. Secondly, I’m reasonably certain that’s not why you were made chair.

I certainly didn’t vote for you.

‘Live now, love hard and appreciate everything.’

My alarm went off at the usual time and I jumped up thinking I’d already hit snooze three times and patting myself on the back for sleeping in a little. Clearly I have a problem.

Accurate.

And here are all your dead friends.

Stop ringing.

Here’s a novel idea (see what I did there?) – let people write what they want to write and if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

This is a good question, actually. What do you want played at your memorial? This ranks pretty high on my list.

Yellowstone is kinda like the Dallas of the west.

“Is it just me or did that seem really long?”
“Don’t all Kevin Costner endeavors seem really long? Because they usually are really long.”

Which is not to say they aren’t good (well, Waterworld wasn’t good. Waterworld was … I don’t even know what the hell that was. I never even finished watching that movie.)

If you limit a person by what it says on their degree, you’re losing out on some outstanding talent. It’s a shame that that is the prevailing attitude and practice.

Garden Herb Triscuits are best Triscuits.

Every time I have to be fake nice to someone I feel like I’ve sold another tiny piece of my soul.

JESUS CHRIST. WHY. why why why why why. W    H      Y

Having spent the majority of my life in rural America, growing up in a working class family, I’d appreciate it if smug asshat journos who have never visited rural America would stop making assumptions about my intelligence.

Sometimes, for no reason at all, the Fraggle Rock theme will suddenly just start playing in my head. And now you know that about me.

Interesting construction.

Hey, Lithium? Chill with the fucking Sublime all the time. That band has always sucked and will never not suck.

I don’t have the slightest idea what that means, but you seem really excited, so congratulations.

Sooooooo now I have a day and a half free in NYC. I thought I only had a day.

I wandered around Austin by myself for a day, surely I can keep myself occupied in NYC for a day.

It’s Lucifer day!!!!

OK Holy shit episode 1 ending. WOW.

Also Helloooooooo Graham McTavish. *swoon*

What a bizarre hairline.

I have never experienced the urge to jump from a high point. This is so bizarre.

This is one of those weeks where I have so much to do I don’t even know where to start so I just don’t.

And now tomorrow is completely full of meetings. Awesome.

I admit, I kind of want one.

I don’t know what fucking planet on which that makes sense, but it ain’t this one.

OH MY GOD you have a phone for a reason.

drive drive drive