sup.

It is really confusing to me that there are two Jon Favreaus now. What are the odds? I never know who anyone is talking about, and it’s never the Jon Favreau of 90s culture that I think it is.

But I did write things down though.

Did I even spell Favreau correctly? I guess who cares, really.

I think I just got every one of these questions wrong. Wow.

Why am I always so hunched over?

Do we need a designated influencer?

I’m gonna need some alone time on my lunch break, thanks very much.

I’m having a very difficult time actually listening to anything these people are saying this morning.

I probably should get a haircut.

I always talk about sleep because I always need to sleep.

I do not like this girl.

OMFG with this shit. I went to your stupid training and refused to sign your stupid pledge.

“I’m gonna force you all to pop corn … maybe like hot potato it.” OK then.

I don’t have any particular aspirations to becoming faculty. I would never land a faculty gig anyway.

I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna be doing a postdoc so …

What is the biggest obstacle? I am. I am my own biggest obstacle. I’m not proud of this, but at least I recognize that I am the problem.

“Everybody’s an expert in a very specific topic.” Like human composting.

Wow. That totally puts a dent in the tens of thousands of dollars worth of insurance premiums I have been forced to pay over the last few decades.

It’s the flag though.

What the hell am I even doing here?

Did I already ask that today?

Clearly I need music. Where the hell is my phone?

This is dumb.

Maybe I just need some protein.

Wow, that’s … selfish.

” … the habitually idle are put in cells where the water slowly rises as long as they are inactive.” Let that be a lesson to ye!

This proposal will fail and I will be miserable about it.

Huh. I thought there was something there already.

Why can’t I seem to make myself work on this project?

I should probably go take a walk in the woods and just keep going forever.

Love it so much when this shit crashes and I lose everything, despite saving.

I think it’s safe to say my problems all started when I gave up a steady diet of Camel Lights and Big Gulp Mountain Dews.

I could have sworn …

Is it going to rain again? If I take my walk will it start pouring on my head? History and luck suggest yes.

I just can’t see opera ever making my list, I’m afraid.

Why are my notifications all wonked lately?

It’s a little stuffy in here today.

Why even ask if you’re going to immediately dismiss the feedback you’re given?

Why am I even here?

I am going to die here. Clearly.

I could just disappear. What’s the worst thing that could happen?

Apparently it’s a theme.

I really don’t know why I keep forgetting that. Ridiculous.

CURSES!

Woah. Was not expecting to see my face in that email.

Roof pig!

Why am I perpetually back burnered while everything you want from me is a freaking emergency?

I wonder what life is like for people who are able to shrug everything off.

I almost had it.

Well, that’s one project done.

Man. I do NOT want to be sick.

What is “anti-flat butt technology” anyway?

Am I next? Bastards!

I should just hang it up.

Colloquium is a weird word.

I’m pretty sure I’m being punished for something.

I don’t know. If I were that wealthy, it might be worth it to pay to leave.

Why is everyone actually insane now?

No one is eating babies.

I hate it here.

Maybe this is why my stomach hurts all the time now. Again.

Everything is exacerbated.

Wait, how old am I now?

I never did watch any of those movies though.

I don’t know, I don’t think that kind of thing is something I would have enjoyed as a kid.

Why is the fucking heat still on in this building?

I am deeply miserable.

I started to log in, was immediately distracted by work, and promptly forgot.

Oh. It was my birthday. Not many people remembered, but that’s fine.

I definitely was not listening. I have no idea what you are talking about.

Well that was a spectacular waste of time.

What would happen, though, if I really did just quit.

What is the obsession with capers??

Steve!!

“the narcissistic cult of authenticity”

I am not a leader. I’m not a follower either. I’m more of a “I’ll be over here if you need me.”

I should find a photo.

This fucking up and down weather is killing my skull.

I am not doing anything I am supposed to be doing.

Pigs! In! Space!

I don’t know. It was fine.

Guess I passed.

Doesn’t matter what I think anyway. Clearly.

Costco pizza.

Let’s watch a rocket launch about it.

I think this cream has taken a turn toward the dark side. Ick.

That chick clearly does not care about a single living soul other than herself.

See also: sociopath.

Lyle Lovett! Most unexpected.

Sometimes being a supervisor is just straight up exhausting.

“And she’s immediately who came to my India.”

Uff da.

I don’t really get anything out of it so …

Why can’t you just read the form? All of the information is right there on the form.

Sheesh, Every single one of us has resting bitch face.

This particular form, which I did not create, is useless. Stupid postal service.

They’re attempting MIND CONTROL!

How do you get a GPA of 5?

Tornado warning!

This tornado loves you.

Holy

Maybe it should be Random Monday.

Next semester will be less nuts. Probably.

This isn’t Juliard, sweetie.

Um. That’s literally the job description.

Such convictions! Such assurance!

What????

I could not open that bottle. Jug. Thing.

These shoes are so creaky!

Why does my shin hurt?

Look at this tiny vacuum.

I cannot. I CANNOT.

Why do they insist on coming in sick??? Why do they think anyone else wants their germs?????

Can we just fire him?

Rejoice.

At least I am well-hydrated.

And there it is.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to want everything to NOT hurt all the time.

This should not have been this hard.

It’s all just getting away from me.

Again?

I hate it here.

What am I even going to do with so few people?

Huh. I do not hate the way I look in these photos.

I am trying not to hate it here.

Radically rethink it!

It’s going to be sparse. Maybe that’s for the best.

BATS

Look at this tiny desk vacuum.

Everything hurts. Everything.

What am I even doing here?

I don’t have to track your snacks!

I should just call in.

Why are you broken. Stupid thing. WORK!

UGGGGGGGGGGH I am so bloated.

I could really use like a 20 minute nap right now.

I do not know what to say to you.

Why do you hate me all of a sudden?

P.S. Fun fact …

His face looks like it was put on crooked.

Oooooh what’s that about?

Why am I even here?

It’ll be easier when I’m back in the office, miserable.

The Grandmother Hypothesis is a nice story that makes you feel better about aging I suppose, but I’m not sure it holds much water. It feels like another pat on the head for menopausal women, rather than actual help for menopausal women.

All of my favorite things get discontinued.

Argh. Answer the phone.

There is a gorram fly in here.

Maybe I’ll be able to kind of ease into it.

It’s just a job. It’s just a job.

“[P]rotecting the interests of women and girls requires the courage to challenge dominant narratives—even when they appear to carry the weight of consensus.”

I am a little surprised by the level of anxiety being here has induced.

Gotta defrost this giant hunk of ice that is my tiny tiny freezer in my tiny refrigerator in my tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny cubicle.

Maybe I should take a walk.

Completely unsurprised by your total lack of follow through.

Oh I like her!

“White House officials have had it with Laura Loomer.” Girl, literally everyone has had it with Laura Loomer.

It’s hilarious that y’all are suddenly concerned with the cognitive state of the president. You sure didn’t seem to give a shit when Biden was clearly unfit to serve because he could not form a coherent sentence.

Hypocrites. As ever.

Apathy.

OK for real I am seriously reconsidering my employment in this place today. What the actual fuck.

Well that’s convenient, isn’t it.

It’s like a refresher, you see.

De-identify it!

My stomach hurts.

How do you know if you’re having a nervous breakdown, though?

I really dig this author.

Why did I think this happy hour was a good idea? Oh right. It was a good idea. But nobody cares.

And this is why I make lists.

moral kiosk

What happened in Berlin?

“Imagine going back to the ’90s and explaining to someone that the big marketing controversy of 2025 was a hot young blonde selling jeans.”

I don’t even know what to do with this.

Well I hope I have better luck with this round.

Why did I did this?

So glad I’m not the only one who hates that guy.

Arrgh what is wrong with my tooth?

Well I would, but I don’t want to live in Colorado.

It’s because I left for an appointment and then utterly forgot about it.

Sudden inexplicable deja vu.

Doesn’t seem to matter how many times you tell them.

I do enjoy the vicarious horror.

all of them

HOW does this happen?

I didn’t intend to lose track.

I love iced tea and peanut M&Ms.

At least my desk is tidier.

Crap, what did I do with those cards?

Oh there they are. Sheesh.

It’s a patchwork.

Well there’s some other things tidied.

A glaze on the cake.

I don’t know why this is so much harder at home.

A lot less fuckery I suppose.

I swear I was going to tell you something.

It’s a baseball game.

Ozzy is gone. Infinite sadness.

I really expected to be more productive than this. I’m disappointed in myself.

Perpetually.

Wow.

Kinda wish I hadn’t read that.

Better have a few peanut M&Ms about it.

I just don’t think I should have to pay for that.

I think these flowers are cooked.

Why does Benson Boone look like an extra from Boogie Nights?

This week in The Very Definition of Irony: “A new U.S. edition of George Orwell’s 1984 now comes with a trigger warning. In a new preface to the great anti-totalitarian work, novelist Dolen Perkins-Valdez calls the novel’s protagonist Winston Smith “problematic” and warns modern readers may find his views on women “despicable.”

Is it even

In a slight panic

It’s fine. Academia is a viper pit full of backstabbing liars. Who cares, right? And yet I continue to allow myself to be lulled into a false sense of safety. Idiot.

My emergency umbrella disappeared!

Well I’ll never be a beauty queen.

Remote business athlete?? What does that even mean?

I don’t know how much more clearly anyone can spell it out. At some point you have to just admit that this is purposely ignored.

THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER!

Is it too early for a Diet Mtn. Dew? No. No it is not.

Dang this is a good book. I don’t want it to end.

Holy shit I am in so much pain today.

Well it was nice for a while. But here we are.

delve delve delve delve delve

oi.

ARGH I need this book and it’s only available in the UK.

“Antecedent to the modern death doula.”

death watcher

Freud again. whee.

the faucet. the door. the fuck?

What foolishness.

OK but when will it be released in the US?

Why would you cut the electricity but not the gas?

I was not prepared for this heat.

Ok. Alright.